As a professional Emotional Intelligence Coach with a certification in Positive Psychology, I have been on a journey to seek ways to be a more conscious parent. My exploration of this value has brought me to discovering an interesting strategy in child psychology and parenting where you focus on making the most out of three key 3-minute periods every day to enhance your time with a loved one.
This 9-minute Principle comprises 3 set times you will engage intentionally with your child. The first being the three minutes when your child wakes, the second when you or your child returns home, and the third is before your child goes to sleep!
The most intriguing concept is that these moments are already times when typically parents are engaged with their children, so being intentional in these moments is a simple practice to enhance and strengthen your emotional connection and all it requires is a shift in mindset and a newfound dedication to making that effort.
Allow me to share how I've seamlessly integrated this strategy into both my home life and with my valued clients. By dedicating just nine minutes each day, you'll not only forge deeper connections with your child but also instill within them a profound sense of security to carry into their daily life.
The First Three Minutes: Brighten their Morning:
Kick-start your child’s day with a burst of positivity, much like the morning sun lighting up the sky. Greet them with a cheerful "Suprabhat!" or "Good morning, my dear!" and show them your interest in their life through asking them questions like "What are you most excited about today?" Accompanying your words with a warm hug or a playful gesture is a nice way to ground them in your adoration for them! This simple morning ritual plants seeds of happiness and sets the tone that will give them confidence throughout their day.
The Second Three Minutes: Reconnect After a Time Apart:
When you or your child walks through the door, drop everything else and give them your full attention for just three minutes. Express your gratitude for being back together and inquire in a way that is engaging for them. Instead of the old ‘How was your day?” ask your children about moments they had that made them feel good or things they saw. You can ask them what was funny or surprising to them to show that you are genuinely interested in their world. I have been so surprised at how eagerly my child opens up when I shift the type of questions I ask.
The Last Three Minutes: End the Day on a High Note:
Those last three minutes before they drift off to sleep are precious. It is the perfect time to calm down together and settle from the day. Whether you read a favorite story, sing lullabies, breathe or pray together, use this time to intentionally engage in positive, supportive interactions. These moments imprint on the subconscious, influencing mood and emotional resilience by fostering a sense of security and well-being. Then tuck them in so they are comfortable in their beds as a symbolic gesture of how you have intentionally surrounded them with positivity, love, and security throughout the day. This simple act will reassure them that no matter what, they have you.
As a parent who travels for work, I have found that these moments can even be curated from a distance. Although we may not be physically able to connect with our children, we can still make the effort through a quick telephone call, a message to their phones, or a video chat at night.
By incorporating this 9-minute principle within my own family and with my clients, I have not only been able to deepen my connection with my daughter, it has also transformed my mindset and how I approach each day as a parent. I work with clients from many different industries with demanding schedules, and I remind them, and you that it is not only about the time you spend together with your children but also about developing your mindset towards enhancing the quality of the minutes you have.
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